So here’s the thing: I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later, my car was stolen today. They were courteous enough to leave a sofa cushion that was in the back seat in my drive way. Why was there a sofa cushion in the back seat? Because there was okay, don’t get hung up on the details. Apparently my car is in the police impound and I can’t get any information about it until I go down there in the morning. Have I ever told you how much I love the human race? It’s rhetorical. FML.

So here’s the thing: This really happened last night at work. These two women ordered a couple of Gin and juice drinks and their bill total was $6.48. They were given an itemized receipt showing the said total. They left six dollars on the bar and sat down in a booth. The bartender I was working with is a little sweet Hispanic woman who asked me what she should do. I said I would talk to them for her because she was obviously nervous. When I approached the women in the booth, a third woman to the party asked me why her name was on the receipt. I explained to her that when the tab was started, her credit card was the one given to the bartender, so the drinks were originally on her tab, but have now been split off but it just keeps the same name. She started swearing at me saying she’s not paying for their (her friends) f-ing drinks. I explained again that they had been split off of the tab and that’s why I’m here, they didn’t leave enough money to pay for the drinks. She kept swearing and asking the same question of why her name was on the other girls receipt. I explained it for a third time and then asked if they could please pay the whole bill. One of the girls who was drinking the cocktails in question gave me one dollar. I went to the bar and made change for her which was .52 cents. When I went back with the change, she had her had out and half smile half smirk on her face. I put the .52 cents down on the table. Later they all complained to the other staff members about what an asshole I am. Now, I am an asshole, but I wasn’t an asshole to them, I simply asked for them to pay for the product they ordered. I hope they have full, complete and happy lives. Have I ever shared my favorite sane with you? It’s “Ignorance is bliss”