So here’s the thing: If you don’t keep your finger nails clean, I don’t like or trust you. Every person I’ve ever met that has dirty finger nails has been a douche bag. You would be amazed at the people who don’t keep their finger nails clean and trimmed. Is it really that hard? Am I missing something? It’s just basic hygiene! If someone isn’t cleaning their finger nails, just think about the other areas of their body they don’t clean. I just want to hit people in the face with a bar of soap sometimes.

So here’s the thing: I don’t know about you, but when I see pet food commercials they make me really hungry. I haven’t eaten pet food in a long time, but I remember those summer afternoons sitting on the floor under the kitchen sink and digging my little hand in the dog food bag for a well deserved little treat. Ahhhh the grainy goodness of dry dog food, brings a smile to my face. Right, like I’m the only one!

So here’s the thing: I don’t know about you, but left handed people freak me out. When I find out someone is left handed I feel like I do when I meet somebody who doesn’t think The Big Lebowski was a good movie, it’s like….there’s something wrong with you. I mean, they probably brush their teeth with their left hand, I can’t trust that! I feel like their sick and need to take some aspirin or some shit to make them use the right hand. Maybe it’s just me.