I’m getting old?…

cartoon old manSo here’s the thing: There was some left over Halloween candy at work the other day and I was bored and fat so I was eating some of it. The candy if you can believe it was sugar free Werther’s. Some of you youngsters have probably never even heard of Werther’s, but it’s an old man hard candy that I thought didn’t even exist anymore. Well I enjoyed it so much that I made it a point to go the the supermarket and buy some. That’s right, I actually premeditated buying hard candy. Not only did I walk straight to the candy isle the next time I went shopping, I complained out loud at the cost of said hard candy. It was $2.99. So my life is over. I’m an old man, alone, bitter and now I make the old man sound while I talk with hard candy in my mouth. Damn.

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