So here’s the thing: I’m going to tell you what not to do on a Wednesday night. Don’t get off work at three in the morning and stop by the corner gas station and get a chicken salad sandwich out of a cooler that doesn’t feel cold enough to have food in it. Don’t eat that sandwich at three thirty in the morning with a side of cheddar cheese Ruffles. Don’t dip those cheddar cheese Ruffles in some ranch dip that has been in your fridge for long enough that you don’t remember buying it. Don’t wash it all down with twenty ounces of diet Dr. Pepper then immediately go to bed. I don’t like this Thursday.