So here’s the thing: Who the hell goes hiking?! I don’t get that shit at all. Yeah, let’s drive up to the mountains with some tuna sandwiches, bottled water and a back pack, get out of the car and start walking up this big rock that has wild animals who see me as food and hope we don’t get lost or fall off a cliff breaking a bone or two and hope somebody will find me before I die of dehydration or eaten by a bear. Yeah, what time? Let’s do this! No, let’s not. Have you ever watched the news man? When’s the last time there was a positive story about somebody going hiking? There wasn’t, the stories always involve wild animals, broken bones and bad decisions. Bad decision number one, going hiking. They invented the stair-master for a reason you pricks. “It’s so beautiful to be in nature” I’ve seen trees and rocks before, I wasn’t impressed.