So here’s the thing: I know I’m a dick. I know this. I also know that from time to time I write something that actually makes people laugh or at least think. I know this because you’ve told me so. You want to know what I don’t get? Wait, I actually get it, I just don’t understand it. I hope that didn’t confuse you, it’s early and I’ve had a few Chardonnays, bare with me. I think you’re on my side when I say you’ve been scrolling down your facebook feed and you see somebody posted a picture of  a Margarita and the caption says “I don’t get salt, I’m crazy!” Underneath the post you see that it has 62 likes and 27 comments. You can’t help but think “I posted a smart and witty post about something relevant in the world today and I got 2 likes and zero comments, what the fuck man? Hey guess what? Their human man, that’s the problem. Long live the Mother Ship! Come get me!!