So here’s the thing: We have two sand volleyball courts at the bar I work at and surprisingly to me a lot of people play volleyball. I say “surprisingly” because the thought of playing volleyball to me is like the thought of a colonoscopy, just not fun. It’s fun to watch on the other hand, and that’s where I get confused. I don’t understand the people who actually think that they posses the physical necessities to spike a volleyball over the net. I’ll watch the same guy over and over again jumping up and trying to spike the ball over the net, and he’s lucky to hit the bottom of the net before it rolls off in another disappointing moment. I wan’t to ask him “what are you doing?” You’re five foot three, over weight and forgive me but you have no athletic ability what so ever. Please stop trying to spike the ball, just hit it over the net so maybe you have a chance at winning a point. What the hell good does it do to consistently hit the ball into the ground? If I did take my fat ass out there to play volleyball and this guy was on my team, he would piss me off because I like to win, and we can’t win with this asshole thinking he’s six foot three and athletic. I would say “hey Carl, what are you doing? Could you please stop trying to spike the ball? Have you ever successfully spiked a volleyball over the net? Let me answer that for you Carl, no, no you haven’t. Guess what Carl? It isn’t going to be today either, so how about just hit the fucking ball over the net so we don’t lose the Applebee’s staff again. I understand wanting to spike the ball, Carl, but it’s a physical impossibility for you to do it. Guess what Carl? It’s impossible for me too, that’s why you don’t see my fat ass trying. I’ll make you a deal Carl, if you stop trying to spike the ball I’ll buy you a hot dog every week before we play. Deal?