So here’s the thing: The other night at work one of our regulars said something to me that kinda shook the pillars of my emotional stability. I’ve been told before that I look like certain celebrities, but they’ve always been celebrities that nobody necessarily wants to be told they look like. For example I get “Mario Batali” from time to time. I’m not saying that an over weight ginger chef with a pony tail is a bad person to be told you look like, but it doesn’t exactly boost your self confidence. Well I have a new one for the books. One of our faithful regulars Larry comes in the other night and is sitting at the bar enjoying his whiskey seven, when he turns to one of my co-workers and says “So Parker has a Bruce Jenner thing going”. My co-worker instantly started laughing and as I look up at Larry, he has this shit eating grin on his face and is just shaking his head “yes” with no words. I was hoping he meant the Bruce Jenner from the seventies, but he didn’t. I started laughing of course, because I didn’t want to cry in front of everybody at work. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with the way Bruce Jenner looks, but it’s hard to ignore the fact that he’s in the middle of changing from a boy to a girl and this is the person I have now been told I resemble. I don’t want to be a girl! I wanna be a boy.