So here’s the thing: I’m a hypocrite. Fuck you! At least I can admit it. You might be thinking, how are you a hypocrite? Shit, where do I begin. I love malt vinegar on my fish and chips, but hate it when you do it because it stinks, if you don’t message me back right away I hate you, but if I don’t message you back, it’s because I’m busy, if you ask for a water with your meal and then don’t drink it, then I do the same thing on my first day off, when you’re in front of me at a red light and it turns green and you don’t go because you’re on your phone, I cuss at you like you killed a family member, then I do the same thing at the next light only I’m pissed at you for honking at me. On a separate note, I found a tortilla behind my bedroom fan this morning, and I don’t know how, or what the fuck that means.