It’s just a theory…


So here’s the thing: I have a theory. I don’t know if you’re familiar with the movie the Matrix, but if you are than you’ll understand where I’m coming from, if you’re not, well, stop reading this. I don’t think we’re butt necked in a pod somewhere and there are machines using our bodies for energy, but I do think some of us might be in the “Mental Yogurt Matrix”. What I mean by that is clearly there are people who are mentally off, let’s face it, some people are shit fucking crazy. So what if I’m one of these crazy people? Would I know it? What if what I think is reality is actually the Mental Yogurt Matrix? I think that I produce a radio show, work in a sports bar, and pour drinks at Sports Authority Field for the Broncos games, but what if the reality is that all I produce is human waste, live in the parking lot of a sports bar and pour hand sanitizer into a Gatorade bottle that I took out of the trash? I’d like to believe that my home is in a quiet neighborhood with families and children playing in the front yard, but maybe I’m actually under a tree in the parking lot next to a busy street and the families and children playing are the cars driving past me with high school kids heckling me because I’m playing “Go Fish” with a dead squirrel named Federico. That my friends is the “Mental Yogurt Matrix”. At this point, I think I’m leaning towards the parking lot. On a separate note, I had to google how to spell “quiet”, so if you’ve ever thought that I was unintelligent, you would be right.

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