So here’s the thing: Dear person who hit my parked car and drove away leaving me with a smashed in rear bumper, I hate you and wish life long diarrhea upon you. Further more, I hope your teeth fall out and every time you hear music you piss your pants and get a bloody nose at the same time. I don’t understand humans and I can’t wait for the mother ship to come down and pick me up, I’m gonna be like “I knew it!” Stupid humans.