So here’s the thing: I went to a baseball game the other day with my buddy Zach. We got there on time, which was the first time we’ve ever been on time for a sporting event. I of course was hungry and decided the baby was in the mood for a ballpark hot dog, I mean it had been at least two days since I had eaten a hot dog, so I was going through withdraws. Zach was down for a wiener so we made our way to the hot dog stand. There was a little old lady working the cash register and a little old man fixing up the dogs. I ordered just a plain dog, bread and dog, nothing else. Zach ordered one of the specialty dogs that came with a bunch of random shit on it. When we gave our order to the little old lady, she stared at the register like everything was in a different language. Zach and I made eye contact knowing exactly what the other was thinking. She figured it out and the old man starting fixing up the dogs. Mine came over in two seconds because it was plain, but he was still fixing Zach’s. We were just standing there watching and waiting. In the middle of fixing Zach’s dog, the old man sneezed over the dog and all the fixings, then looked up to see if we were watching, we were. He then looked away and finished the dog. The look Zach gave me with no words caused me to start laughing hysterically and I almost pissed myself. I had to walk away. I was waiting by our seating section ready to walk down when here comes Zach and his snot dog. He said “what the fuck am I supposed to do with this hot dog covered in old man juice?” He ate it when we got to our seats.